This post is looking back through notes. 

 ‎Friday, ‎September ‎15, ‎2023-  

Phase one: Recognize the real problem. 

Not the little things that pop up, the small stuff is usually a symptom of the bigger problem. 

This document is being written to address issues that I have faced and my strategy for overcoming those issues. Life in general is not an easy thing, and a fulfilling life seems to be impossible. I'm sure I am not alone in the feeling that things seem to go easier for others than myself. I do not claim to have the answers, I simply would like to describe a life strategy that is constant with my observations. So far it is working for me and I hope that it will continue to help me grow. 

--------------------nope

The first thing that happened was I realized that my connection with reality is rather loose. The difference between how things really are pretty much have nothing to do with what is in my head. Most of my life I have suffered from extreme emotional highs and lows. Really good times and really bad times. At some point I realized that the real problem was not my feelings or circumstance. It was my lack of achievable goals. And a lack of the tools to measure how I am doing. I was just wondering through life guessing at how to act to get to some ultimate place only to find that that place was not for me, it would only cause a worse suffering even if I got exactly what I wanted. 

--------------------nope

    Trying to find a balance with what is the "real" problem is a big step forward for anyone. The hint to my own real problem is clear in the "nope" section.  

 I was just wondering through life guessing at how to act to get to some ultimate place only to find that; that place was not for me, it would only cause a worse suffering even if I got exactly what I wanted. 

Boom there it is as they used to say.     

    What in the world do I do with that? The main problem I always ran into with my old way of thinking was this. I set an impossible goal, then guess on how to get it. If I guessed even close I would move forward, with small progress along the way. That progress would lead me to an emotional high and subsequent kind of focused madness to hold on to that progress then I would reach a sort of plateau; a place where I was as close as I could get without doing something that had nothing to do with my successful guess, that place would bring me a great deal of pain, and the realization that I would have to do something different to get closer to that unattainable goal. So I would start guessing again. Consistently leading to failure shame and pain. 

    Now I would like to say something about luck, there are lucky people in the would that can use this strategy and continue to "win" at this guessing game, I do not begrudge them of their success. And there are folks that would never get this right and always guess wrong they mostly will abandon the guessing game pretty earlier in life and act accordingly. As for me my luck is somewhere in between. You can tell that overall in life I have done OK, but the highs and lows show that I do get it wrong. 

    That brings me to my new guess. I have called it the regular day. It is about creating an environment of momentum in a good direction. Keeping expectations in check and the ability to measure progress based on what is real and sustainable. My new goal is to have a series of regular days that includes: 

I. Habits, routines, schedules. This is the real challenge. This is what guides us through the grind of daily life. 

A. Feeding our habits (good or bad) and believe me both are hungry so be careful with the habits you let into your life. 

 B. Routines are our automatic pilot, they allow us a the ability to do things without focus and with very little effort. If your routines are solid, any task will seem easy and have a minimum effect on your physical and emotional state. 

C. Schedules are ever present, we all have a choice on this one. We can either actively create our schedule or we can allow others, our habits, and routines control it. 

II. My regular day does not destroy other peoples ability to have a regular day.

A. There is no way around it, if your going to enjoy the benefits of an organized society your regular day must be designed to allow those around you to have their own version of a regular day. 

B. I am a high energy person, so I have to be careful when interacting with people. That energy is not always positive. Over my life I have developed the bad habit of imposing my own energy level on others. My old way of thinking was to ignore my own energy and "fake" positive energy no matter what, and then proceed to impose that fake positive energy on others. BAD HABIT! I am still guessing on this one, but I know that my old guess is completely wrong and counter productive. 

C. Be mindful of your impact on other peoples regular days. Sometimes their regular day will be in conflict with your own. Before you start defending your regular day know that in the grand scheme of things the more people having regular days the better, If you end up destroying everyone's regular day around you, they will attack yours any way they can. I am not saying always give in to other's but be careful and only do the minimal damage on both sides. 

III. Progress toward a higher goal.

A. This one is really hard to start. When you let your imagination run wild you can create a goal that is not only unachievable, but actually detrimental  to your well being. Chasing a 6 or 7 figure does not seem like a bad goal, will your habits, routines, and interactions with others allow you to really enjoy it? 

B. Before you set a higher goal take into account what a regular day will look like if you are able to achieve and maintain it. 

C. I realize this make no since, even to me. The nature of the regular day needs some measure of success and progress. Without progress and success the regular day just becomes a struggle to keep your good habits, routines, and schedule. An endless grind of boring struggling that will only lead to pain. Sure have those hopes and dreams, but before you add them to your regular day be sure that you are ready if you get them.