Life is a game.
Sometimes you get to pick the game.
Life events have led me to a place where I am at the edge of the frying pan preparing to leap into the fire. The only question is what will happen when I get into the fire, sit and sizzle or continue to move forward?
Yes, I am being overly dramatic. What will really happen has nothing to do with what is going on in my mind. Sure life is playing 52 card pickup with me, the question is what will I do from here? Carefully look at all the cards and pick them up in the right order neatly stacked? Grab them all into a pile, make it look like I had done all the hard work (cards still random)? Well, if I am going to get to pick the next game, when I pick them up I am going to stack the deck in my favor. Life might want to play 52 pickup again, but just in case I get to pick, I am going to put in some effort.
Perhaps a few details are in order. Between modest income, outrageous inflation, and unreasonable rent increases my wife and I were forced into making some hard choices. We came up with three basic options.
First, abandon ship: Just move in with relatives and give up. Quickly rejected by both of us, I guess we decided there was something worth salvaging in this little town I have lived in for almost fifty years.
Second, Hunker down: This option seemed almost reasonable, just give up most of our bad habits, and some luxuries (like meat), and stay put. This option was thrown out due to the fact that our "gated community" had steadily given us less services, and demanded more rent over the past three years.
Third, Find a new home: The option that won out was going to be really difficult. We moved into this place it was a great deal and was upscale for us. It was hard to even consider the places we could actually afford. And there were a lot of places that made abandon ship look more attractive.
How to create your regular day when starting over?
When I started this blog, I knew things were getting tough, and it was my hope that this new way of thinking would keep me centered and able to carry on with emotional stability and a reasonable since of direction. It just was not the case. Right now my days are full of what if's and uncertainty. Right now and today I have no idea how to even pull off anything that looks like a regular day. One thing that I have found is that during this upheaval, the things that are barriers to regular days become more obvious. There have been times in my life that moving resulted in the loss of things I was very attached to. Some of those were material some just a place, or people who lived nearby. In my old age I have been too careful about making those attachments for fear of losing them.
My new commitment: Seriously focused effort.
I still feel like this whole regular day is worthwhile. So far this blog has not lived up to my expectations. I am committed to continue trying though. Not much of the work so far has been very original and to be honest a bit bland. It is going to take time, posting will stay on my schedule, it will be a challenge until we get settled.
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